Issue # 107 | February 20, 2026 | Previous issues​

Hey Reader,

Last Saturday, I did something radical.

Out of total necessity (for the safety of everyone in my house— and my sanity 🤪), I “wasted” an entire Saturday.

And I loved every minute of it.

I ignored productivity.
I said no to preaching plans.
I mocked housework.
And more importantly, I didn't rush back home to manage anyone else’s needs.

Instead, I took myself on a date and stayed out as long as I needed.

Somewhere between a used bookstore, savoring a cannoli by the river, and sipping hot chocolate at a French pastry shop, I realized something surprising:

I wasn’t wasting time at all.

I was finding myself again—which gave my nervous system permission to relax and heal.

The Lie I’ve Lived By

For most of my life, I've operated under an invisible rule:

Be harder on yourself before anyone else can be.

Before God could judge me.
Before others could criticize me.
Before life could accuse me of laziness.

So I stayed busy.
Responsible.
Productive.
“On.”

Even when I was exhausted — because resting felt dangerous.

What if someone needed me?
What if I fell behind?
What if I wasn’t doing enough?

Who am I if I'm not being responsible?

Last Saturday, I broke the rule.

I wandered through the thrift bookstore for hours — slowly circling aisles, touching spines, letting curiosity lead me.

No one rushed me out.

No one asked, "What are you doing?"

No one nagged, "Can we go home now?"

And the best part?

I found 99% of the books I wanted!

That almost never happens in a used bookstore.

Before I left that morning, I had a quiet inner nudge: The book I want is waiting for me there.

After searching high and low for a while… I found it.

I was SO excited.

Talk about alignment.

This is what happens when we slow down and soften enough to listen to that quiet voice — also known as intuition or inner wisdom.

Softening Changes Everything

As the day unfolded, I noticed something else:

When I softened… life softened back.

Conversations flowed easier.
My body felt calmer.
I wasn’t fighting time or expectations.

I was present enough to truly appreciate my surroundings.

Later, I told a friend:

“I think I’ve been blocking my own energy because I'm tense all the time.”

When we’re constantly braced for responsibility, obligations, and duties, we unintentionally create friction — and friction is what we attract.

But when we soften?

We remove internal resistance, energy flows, and our awareness expands.

And suddenly life feels lighter.

The Real Test Came at Home

My last stop before returning home was a giant bargain warehouse, where I delightfully bought small gifts for random people — including my son.

(What a perfect way to end a day of treating myself, right? Giving makes me happy.)

I was excited to give my son his gift.

But when I got home, he was in a awful mood. He had run out of gaming time and was deeply unhappy about it.

He couldn't enjoy the presents.

In the past, this would have triggered me.

I would have felt hurt.
Unappreciated.
Emotionally reactive.

Instead, something new happened.

I stayed calm.

I stayed joyful.

Why?

Because I returned home healed. Rested. Whole. Happy.

I didn't need his response or gratitude to keep my joy.

My intention in giving remained intact, and later that night, he apologized for not reacting well.

And I realized:

I had given from joy, not from expectation.

That was new for me.

That was healing.

Living Like a Tree

Lately, I’ve been holding an image in my mind:

Me as a tree.

Bare feet rooted deep in the earth — grounded and connected to myself. Branches reaching upward toward light — being guided by spirit and truth.

Trees don’t chase approval.

They don’t force growth.

Trees grow stronger with every storm.

They simply remain rooted — and life flows through them naturally.

This is the kind of life I’m learning to live:

Quietly powerful.
Calm and present.
Rooted within myself.
Guided by spirit and truth.
Soft in heart, steady in mind.

Producing good, nourishing fruit for myself and others.

I asked ChatGPT to make an image of me like this. I'm sharing it because I think it captured the idea beautifully.

Here is the truth I’m slowly accepting:

Rest is not a reward for finishing everything I need to do.

It is a requirement for living well.

Especially for those of us who give a lot emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Sometimes the most productive thing we can do is:

Step away.
Meander.
Let the day unfold.
Allow yourself to simply be.

Take yourself out on a long date.

Because when we return from true rest, we bring something far more valuable than productivity:

We bring peace, presence, and healing.

A Gentle Invitation

If you’ve been feeling exhausted, overstretched, or constantly “on,” consider this:

What if you needed to do less — but with greater intention?

What if you gave yourself permission to have a day that looks, on paper, completely unproductive?

You might discover what I did:

Sometimes “wasting” time is actually the moment you begin reclaiming your life.

With gentleness,

Anna

I read every reply, even if I can’t always respond personally.

If you've tried to reply lately and got a failed message it's because I goofed — but it's fixed now. Thanks to Laurie Harmon for pointing it out.

P.S. Be honest — when was the last time you did something just for yourself, without feeling guilty?

And if you took yourself out on a date this week, where would you go? I’m always looking for ideas 🙂

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