Issue # 113 | April 3, 2026 | Previous issues​

Hey Reader,

Are you thinking...please not another email from Anna about learning, growing, improving, changing, bettering myself, etc.?

I hear ya.

You might be thinking...

Why do I always have to be the one to change?

Why can't others do some growing and bettering of themselves too?

You're not wrong for thinking this.

I think this ALL THE TIME.

Sometimes it's exhausting being the aware one. The one having to figure everything out. The one staying on top of all the responsibilities. And then after all that—still being the one who has to adjust.

Especially when it seems those around us are doing the opposite.

Not learning.

Not changing.

Not growing.

Not becoming aware.

I haven't quite figured those people out yet. Do they choose to be that way? Or is there some deep psychological thing that prevents them?

You know the type.

The ones that blame others for their problems. The ones who leave behind a wake of damage but think they're God's gift to mankind. The ones who think they're improving but make little progress.

Yep.

You've heard them. They say things like, "This is just the way I am. Deal with it." or "I don't know what you're talking about. It's not my fault."

And what about those that keep right on "loving" but have no idea how much their "love" hurts?

Talk about triggers!

I could go on and on.

One of my big friendship musts is that the person has to be willing to take an honest look at themselves and then be willing to adjust. To learn.

I tend to keep people who are unwilling to grow at an arm's length, if not two or three.

So, let's be real.

WHY should we be the ones to constantly adjust when others aren't willing to?

Well, for one, then you'd be one of those people that others keep at arm's length. (Introverts I know you're reading that and saying "I'd like that!" 😂 Well, you do want people to leave you alone, but not for this reason).

Second, the old adage can be true and be very false—"what you don't know can't hurt you." Same with "ignorance is bliss".

At times, ignorance is bliss. But not when your house is on fire. Not when your relationships are on fire or when YOU are on fire internally.

Nor do you want to be the fire in your relationships causing irreparable damage.

You're the type that wants peace in your life. Joy in your relationships. You want everyone to get along and be kind to each other.

You value people. Friends. Family. You even value kindness to strangers.

How do I know?

Because you wouldn't be reading this newsletter every week if you didn't.

And so, this week, I have a little mental exercise for you.

The goal is awareness and growth with the outcome of increasing your internal peace. Not perfect peace. I'm not a snake-oil saleswoman trying to sell you fantasy.

If you're looking for perfection, always knowing the perfect thing to say or do in any given situation, well that's an unrealistic fantasy. Only the dead can do no wrong.

What we're after is internal peace most of the time and self-compassion for the times we miss that mark.

How do you build internal peace?

There are many ways, but today I'll choose one.

Your triggers are your trainers.

What's a trigger?

A trigger is a specific moment in which something is said or done that makes you feel angry, upset, bothered, annoyed, irritated, etc.

A trigger is anything that disturbs your internal peace.

At times, you might ignore and brush the trigger away. At other times, you might react in ways that later make you feel regret or shame.

So here's your awareness-building exercise for this week: pay attention to who and what triggers you. The situations that make you crazy and the people that just get under your skin.

Yes, pay attention—not to them—but to you.

What happens when you're triggered?

What emotions rise to the surface?

What thoughts push those emotions up and out?

What moments (or words) specifically trigger you?

Those are the moments where training happens.

Triggers can train you to look for the areas that are robbing you of your peace.

Do you want to be a storm?

Or do you want to be a calm lake where the water gently ripples in the breeze?

That's a lake you can enjoy. Sit by and meditate. Or take a lovely boat out and watch the sunrise or sunset.

That's the peace you want to work towards in your life.

To do that, you must identify your triggers. Not shame your triggers. Just identify them. Notice them. Build curiosity about them. Question them.

How is this trigger serving me?

What is it saying about me?

Here's a kicker. Some triggers are mirrors that reflect back something in ourselves that we don't like.

Sit with that thought for a minute.

It might be a hard pill to swallow.

Some triggers can also reopen wounds, fears, unmet needs, unhealed patterns, or reflect back to us our own resentment or exhaustion.

So my knee-jerk anger on an unsuspecting Tuesday over ice cream bowls left in the sink from Monday night—may not really be about ice cream at all.

What was beneath the trigger was bearing the weight of responsibility without the support of my family. Or as my son so accurately said, "You're angry cause daddy and I ganged up on you."

Straight out of the mouth of babes!

So, now it's your turn.

Maybe this week, instead of asking, “Why am I so triggered?” ask, “What is this trigger trying to teach me?”

Your triggers may be pointing to the very place your healing wants to begin.

So this week, pay attention to what disturbs your peace—and ask what it has come to teach you.

Notice with curiosity instead of shame.

With love,

Anna

P.S. Triggers are uncomfortable, yes. But they can also be invitations—little arrows pointing toward the places in us that still need care, honesty, and healing.

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