It is what is...now what?


Issue #130 | August 7, 2026 | Previous issues​

Hey Reader,

The phrase, it is what it is, has been around a long time.

Back in the day, when I was a computer tech, my boss used to say it to me all the time, complete with a cynical smile.

It felt foreign to me then. I was young. Idealistic. Full of hope. I understood the sentiment behind it, but it's only in the last few decades that I feel the full effects of it.

And now, I'm hearing that phrase more and more, as the next generations are repeating it.

I always like adding one more cynical thought to it.

It is what it is...and it cannot be otherwise.

As I'm typing this, I'm wondering all sorts of things. There's no denying that there's some truth to it.

But is it always true?

Is it supposed to be comforting?

Cynical?

Mean?

Is it a kick in the butt and get back to work, aka a "motivational" speech?

I think it may come down to another word: Control.

There are two types of situations in this world. Ones you can control or at least influence. And then there are things completely out of your control.

For example: war, death, taxes, natural disasters, genetics, illness, disability, and other people’s terrible decisions.

Let's be real: it sucks not having control over things, and yet at the same time, it would suck if we did have control over some things.

Not sure about you, but I'm glad I don't have total control of everything.

Imagine the responsibility you'd bear on your shoulders for every outcome, every choice, every situation.

I'll leave that kind of control in God's capable hands.

Here's what I think it is what it is does NOT include: It doesn't mean that we have to approve of all the terrible things that happen or pretend they're not happening.

It's also not OK to shut down someone else's grief when we can offer comfort or a helping hand.

When something happens, we might ask:

Is there anything I can do about this?

If yes, do the next small thing you can do.

Sometimes, all we can do is say a prayer or take a moment to acknowledge and feel the pain rather than fight against it.

This is what it is.
But this is not all there is.
And you still get to decide who you'll be inside it.

I love this quote from a Nazi concentration camp survivor.

“Where we cannot change a situation, we are required to change ourselves, namely to mature, to grow, to grow beyond ourselves.” — Viktor E. Frankl

Frankl’s life reminds me that even in circumstances designed to destroy a person, powerlessness does not have to mean hopelessness. We may not be able to change what is happening, but perhaps there is still something within us that can deepen, mature, or grow.

You can decide where your power still lives.

And when you’re feeling powerless, hope in a loving higher power can remind you that you're not carrying everything alone.

Sometimes faith carries us.

Sometimes humor does too.

I don’t generally swear, but sometimes a situation calls for precise terminology.

This sign was given to me by someone who wasn’t entirely sure I’d appreciate it. Clearly, they underestimated me lol 🤣.

This week, when you feel yourself wrestling with reality, pause and ask: Is this something I can influence, or is this something I must accept—and perhaps grow through?

Then spend your energy accordingly.

With love,

Anna

P.S. Some situations require prayer, wisdom, courage, or action. Others require a small wooden sign.

​aferalhousewife.com​

The Feral Housewife’s Guide to Carrying Less and Living More

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