Issue # 104 | January 30th, 2026 | Previous issues​

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Hey Reader,

One of my favorite sarcastic memes is:

Seriously!

Who doesn't love a good beating to improve morale?

Oh wait — you don't agree?

Well, that's funny… until you realize how many of us are living that way and don't even realize it.

It's because we're not using our literal fists.

We're using our thoughts as weapons.

I'm guilty of it.

This week I realized I was staring at a simple “no” on a volunteer form… and I couldn’t click it.

Not because I didn’t care, but because rest still feels like disloyalty in my body (thank you, overactive nervous system).

If you sat back and thought about it, you might realize it about yourself too.

Has your inner voice ever said:

• You're not working hard enough.
• Do more.
• You’re behind (look at everyone else).
• You’re not enough.
• If you're not productive, you're useless.

We whip ourselves into spiritual shape.

Guilt ourselves into productivity.

Punish ourselves into becoming “better.”

We think the solution to motivation, growth, and productivity is yelling at ourselves like drill sargeants.

Almost everyone is living with some version of an inner whip:

• pressure
• comparison
• self-criticism
• exhaustion
• spiritual guilt
• quiet burnout

But here’s what I’m learning:

The inner whip is exhausting (it catches up to you eventually one way or another).

It doesn’t produce peace.

It produces burnout.

And the strangest part is… we call it duty, discipline, discipleship.

But God doesn’t motivate like the devil does.

God doesn't stand over us with a clipboard, pushing us harder, waiting for us to fail. He isn't impressed by self-punishment.

He's gentle.

Which brings me to a thought that I've witnessed throughout my life:

How you treat yourself is how you treat others.

Now, you might be thinking: "I'm hard on myself, but I don't judge other people."

And maybe you don’t — not out loud.

But inner harshness doesn’t always show up as criticism.

Sometimes it shows up as:

• impatience
• tension
• control
• sighing
• an inability to let people be human (imperfect)

If you’ve ever been around someone who can’t relax unless everything is perfect… you can feel it (um, guilty as charged).

They may never say a word.

But perfection becomes the air in the room.

The way we speak to ourselves becomes the atmosphere we bring into relationships.

So if you sense inner hardness, self-judgment, or constant pressure… it’s all too easy to turn that same lens outward.

Softness isn’t weakness.

Jesus never said, “Whip yourself into holiness.”

He said, “Come to me, all you who are weary…”

Softness is wisdom.

Maybe this bitter cold winter season isn’t about doing more.

Maybe it’s about learning to live without the whip.

Maybe it’s about speaking to yourself the way God speaks to you: with patience, truth, and gentleness.

So here’s a question to sit with today:

What would change if I replaced self-pressure with self-mercy?

Take five minutes and journal it out:

• notice the harsh voice
• soften it
• choose one gentle next step

That’s faithfulness too.

We can be faithful without self-abandonment. We can grow without self-abuse.

This world is doing a great job of beating us up, it doesn't need our help.

So let mercy shape you… from the inside out.

With love and softness,

Anna

P.S. This is your permission slip to be gentle with yourself...and others.

​aferalhousewife.com​