Master your emotions with confidence

The ponderings of a Feral Housewife

Issue # 72 || June 6, 2025 || Previous issues

Hey Reader,

Ready for a little fun and nonsense today?

I hope you enjoy this little creative diversion.

The following is based on a journal entry I wrote on March 29th, just for fun 😁.

Welcome to nonsense

Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

It has built an obstacle course around my ceiling fan. I get the feeling I've been spied on for months. Probably a whole season.

I was blind to it. My son lovingly pointed it out.

"Look Mom," he said, "at just this angle."

And I saw it.

A line from one blade to another and another. Tonight, I see he built (not just a web) but a castle up there. In my fan!

Sneaky little spider!

He's banking on the feral housewife in me, not knowing that the Italian guilt and shame might win out.

How long has he been there???

Is he listening to everything I say? 😱

"She's not the stupidest person I've ever met," says Mr. Spidy, as if he's being interviewed for the 6 o'clock news. "No matter what she says."

"So what she can't be trusted with a credit card and the phrase 'support local businesses'. She's a real sucker for that. Now had she invented the phrase 'support local businesses' I would have said she's the smartest feral housewife I've ever known."

"She's seen my castle," he shrugs, "it's coming down soon. I'll have to evacuate. It's not a rush. She hates spring cleaning. Maybe, just maybe, she'll forget about me until she has to turn the fan on. Since she's as cold-blooded as a tarantula, it could be months."

"A lot depends on her mood," Spidy sighed, "either way I'll need to start packing and finding a better place to rebuild and hide. Ever since this girl started hitting perimenopause—her mind just hasn't been the same."

"I got cousins building castles all over this log cabin. Guess I better go warn them too."

The end

Feral Housewives

Guess when I cleaned the fan?

Yep, yesterday.

I put up with that web castle for way longer than I should have.

Mr. Spidy was right though, I only cleaned the fan WHEN I NEEDED it. We had a few super hot days this week, so I cleaned the fan last night, out of desperation.

By the way, he had safely evacuated by then. 😁🕸️🕷️

Mr. Spidy did send me a memo thanking me for the inspiration. He's now giving classes (and charging a hefty bug price) to groups of younger, inexperienced spiders. He encourages them to find real feral housewives and to absolutely stay away from Italian women who scrub their fingers to the bone to have a clean house.

He even plans on writing a book based on his experience.

Wish I had his guts!

Well, Mr. Spidy, maybe I too will write a book someday.

Are you a real feral housewife?

How do you know if you're really a feral housewife and don't just call yourself one?

A few signs to look out for:

-you're super chill about clutter and messes

-you're too distracted to notice dirt (you've got better things to do with your time)

-you clean only when you expect company (which is getting rarer and rarer 😆 of this you make sure).

-my personal favorite: you have imaginary conversations with the bugs in your home and they inspire you to do just about anything but clean. 😆

Tell me something cool about spiders

I put that question to AI Grok, here's his rely:

Spiders can produce silk that's stronger than steel, yet five times lighter. Some species, like orb-weavers, create intricate webs with silk that’s not only tough but also elastic, capable of stretching up to 40% of its length without breaking. This silk is so versatile that it’s used for catching prey, building shelters, and even as a lifeline for "ballooning" to travel long distances by riding air currents.

Scientists are studying it for potential uses in everything from bulletproof vests to medical sutures.

Plus, spiders recycle their silk by eating their old webs, making them eco-friendly engineers!

Hey Grok, do spiders write books?

Spiders don’t write books in the human sense—they lack the cognitive capacity and physical means to create literature. However, their webs can be thought of as a kind of "story" in nature.

Each web’s unique pattern reflects the spider’s species, environment, and behavior, like a signature of their survival strategy. For example, orb-weaver spiders craft intricate, wheel-shaped webs that could be seen as their "masterpiece," while funnel-web spiders build trap-like structures.

If we stretch the metaphor, you could say their webs are their "books," written in silk to catch prey rather than tell tales!

(Isn't Grok clever?)

Mr Spidy IS writing a book! Here's proof..

I know for sure, depsite what Grok says that Mr. Spidy IS writing a book, a masterpiece in fact. Hopefully, he will put a good word in for us feral housewives.

One last thing before I go

Thank you for sticking around and reading my nonsense. I appreciate it.

Please go out there and make YOUR OWN NONSENSE.

Give yourself permission to go outside, breathe fresh air, go for walks, write poetry, create something for no reason at all.

Go PLAY.

Until our next feral, fun, Friday adventure,

Anna

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This weekly newsletter is a labor of my creative love meant to inspire you to intentionally grow in all areas of life, especially emotionally, because what you think and how you feel influences everything.

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Heal your inner world to heal your outer world.

With love,

Anna Celotto

Creative & Digital Writer