The Feral Housewife's Guide to

Living Authentically, Creatively, & Intentionally

Issue #80 || August 8th, 2035 || Previous issues​

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Hey Reader,

When a reading is available I'll post it here 🙂.

Ever have one of those moments where you watch yourself saying something and think, "WHO IS CONTROLLING MY MOUTH RIGHT NOW??"

Yeah. That was ME. Yesterday.

And not just yesterday. That's me, over and over, possibly a million times—and I haven't even lived that long (Lie—50 years isn't a sneeze and 70 is around the corner 😲).

Anyway, who knew an innocent lemonade stand could lead to major self-battles and the birth of new ideas?

Does this stuff happen only to me? (Please say no.)

Picture this: I saw a lemonade stand 🍋 across the street from my house. My neighbor's grandkids were doing what smart kids do—learning to make money by working hard for it 🙌.

What kind of human doesn't support entrepreneurial kids? (Feel the pressure?)

Here's the thing, (cause there's always a thing), I'm a SUCKER for spending money on local, handmade stuff no matter the cost. I'm also a sucker for kids. But this time, I wanted to be strong. I gave myself a pep talk—I'll CHOOSE whether to go over or not. Very empowering stuff 🙄.

What could go wrong???

Apparently, loads of things (when you're nervous system is frazzled).

Instead of hiding in my house, (which is what normal people do if they want to avoid moral issues regarding lemonade stands), what did I do?

I went to check my mailbox, and guess what? My neighbors waved 🙋‍♀️. There was NO WAY I was getting out of being a kid-loving-lemonade-customer.

Buying lemonade isn't the tragedy here. I spent $3 for 3 lemonades—couldn't go home without one for my hubby and son. No problem! It wasn't even a big deal that I fell victim to the sucker game, again.

So what was the BIG DEAL?

My nervous system, functioning on AUTOPILOT, was setting me up for DISASTER 💥and I didn't even realize it.

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Danger ahead!

Who knew so many lessons were intertwined with lemonade stands?

I didn't know I had social anxiety, until recently. Any time I'm going to be around people, my nervous system sets off an alarm: 📢 "CODE RED. HUMAN INTERACTION DETECTED AHEAD."

The effect of this 'danger alarm' isn't obvious until I'm in the thick of it.

-My armpits sweat.

-My brain powers down to dangerously low thinking levels.

-My heartbeat speeds up.

-My senses heighten, and decrease, in uncontrollable ways.

-My sense of humor goes awry (as in weird or inappropriate-you'll see that in a minute).

-My mouth goes rogue.

Oh, the choices your nervous system has to make to protect you from perceived dangers!

Fight or flight or hide?

🥴

Makes more sense to hide, right?

But, of course, I didn't run or hide.

I faced the battle (me).

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She stepped on my landmine

After I bought lemonade, my neighbor made friendly conversation. She said, "isn't our neighborhood quiet?"

QUIET??

UGH.

Inadvertently, she stepped on a landmine in my brain 💥💣🧨.

Little does she know, I'm a writer. A book nerd. A nature sound loving creature. I CRAVE silence.

Our neighborhood is about as quiet as a construction site 🚜 that never rests. If I were rich, I'd buy everyone in my neighborhood electric lawn mowers and electric weed-whackers. I'd put everyone on a schedule to mow and fight weeds on the same day of the week.

I'd buy the Lowe's on my corner e-trucks and silent alarms (or politely ask them to relocate). I'd divert ALL non-local traffic to the real highway. I'd ban obnoxiously loud mufflers on motorcycles too.

THEN we'd have quiet 😊.

(Note: this desperate need for silence is another indication of nervous system malfunction).

Oh, if only, my brain had stopped there.

Then I wouldn't have asked her if it was her husband who weed-whacks at 6am and then I wouldn't have marched myself over to "tease" him about it.

Here's where my mouth completely divorced my brain: my neighbor is a semi-retired police officer, and I ended up jokingly telling him I was going to "sniper-like graze his ear" if he kept up the early morning yard work 🔫.

You feeling me here?

😳

I JOKED ABOUT SHOOTING A COP. TO A COP.

I don't even own a gun, people (and this is probably WHY I shouldn't lol.)

How am I to LIVE this one down??? 🙉

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Rebirth

Later that evening, I replayed the conversation like I was analyzing footage from a crime scene (which, let's face it, I basically was).

I can't believe I joked about shooting someone.

I hate violence.

The mortification was brutal. My cheeks actually burned with embarrassment /shame, all by my lonesome.

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I had to pull quite a few coaching tools from my repertoire to help myself here!

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Here's the good thing: my neighbor knows I was joking and that I don't own a gun.

Here's the reality: everyone says stupid-raw things from time to time. I'm no exception to the rule.

Here's the truth: the old me would have spent HOURS berating myself. Also, as good as hermit life in the woods sounds, apparently "isolation isn't healthy." Who knew? 🤷‍♀️

Here's the bad thing: I said something I regret and can't take back. Also bad, my nervous system needs a lot of training.

Here's the opportunity for growth: I can learn to reset and relax my nervous system so that I can enjoy social interactions.

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The framework

I'd like to share with you the framework I used to not DIE from mortification or torment myself with self-abuse:

Awareness: pay attention to your patterns and how they affect you

Acceptance: don't flee from your hot-cheek moments, own and feel the hard to deal with emotions. Yep, have a cup of coffee or tea with them before you say goodbye. ☕ I can assure you it's not pleasant, but it's necessary

Curiosity: always explore without judgement

Self-talk: reframe negative thoughts to positive

Humor: use laughter to create safety, much easier to change this way

Learn ways to reset your nervous system and release toxic emotions

Last but not least, talk or write it out.

If you don't feel like burdening someone with your problems, use an AI like Claude or ChatGPT to process your emotions. They are built to be compassionate and the best part, they don't get tired of listening 😆.

If you don't feel comfy talking to an AI bot, grab a notebook and spill your guts on paper.

If you need to vocalize it, call and friend and ask if you can vent. Buy them a cup of coffee as a thank you.

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Inner Life Coaching Question

Remember, your nervous system is doing its best to protect you.

How can we honor our nervous system’s hard work to protect us while gently teaching it that not every moment needs hypervigilance?

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Therapeutic Journaling Prompt

Take 5 minutes to write about a time your mouth ran ahead of your brain—maybe a cringe-worthy moment or a blurted-out comment you instantly regretted.

What triggered it? How did your body feel (racing heart, sweaty palms)?

Now, pick one coaching tool from my framework (like Awareness or Reframe) and use it to explore what you learned about yourself.

Let the words spill out—no judgment, just honesty.

Hard emotions and all.

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In Summary

I am not a robot! 🤖

And neither are you.

It'd be incredibly exhausting to try and control every reaction. This disaster taught me I cannot aim for perfection, no matter how much I wish it. I am aiming for catching myself before the sniper jokes start flying. haha.

We're all just trying to human our way through the world with wonky nervous systems and zero preparation. Sometimes we say weird things. Sometimes we joke inappropriately with law enforcement 👮‍♂️.

Sometimes our authentic selves show up at exactly the wrong moment with exactly the wrong words.

I'm learning to choose authenticity over perfection.

How about you?

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Reply with your own cringe-worthy moment—let’s laugh and learn together!

Stay feral (but maybe slightly less armed-and-dangerous feral).

Oh, and in the future, I will share what new idea this situation gave birth to (with help from my favorite AI-Claude).

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With Love, Creativity, & Intention,

Anna

P.S. If you're enjoying this newsletter, please forward it to a friend.

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​www.aferalhousewife.com​

​https://linktr.ee/aferalhousewife​

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I'm a recovering perfectionist and sassy housewife, helping overwhelmed women create a rich and fulfilling inner life by ditching guilt, perfectionism, and the “do it all” myth through therapeutic writing and creative self-expression. ​ I'm here to inspire you to intentionally grow in all areas of life, especially emotionally, because what you think and how you feel influences everything. ​ If you're enjoying this newsletter, please forward it to a friend or send this subscribe link: The Feral Housewife's Guide to Living Authentically, Creatively & Intentionally​ ​ Write. Feel. Heal. ​ Anna Celotto Writer & Inner Life Coach