The Feral Housewife's Guide toLiving Authentically, Creatively, & IntentionallyIssue #83 || August 29, 2025 || Previous issues
Hey Reader, In an effort to apply my own advice about overwhelm, this'll be the last time I record this newsletter. Sorry to disappoint the few that enjoyed it.
Ready for a tough—but necessary—reminder? You're not as important as you think you are. Yep, it's true. But here's the thing (cause there's always a thing 😆), this is GREAT NEWS! Keep reading, and you'll see what I mean. Are you indispensable?Many years ago, my employer told me flat-out, "You're not indispensable." Those words cut deep for a long time. But as I got older, I realized he was right. The cold, harsh truth was: no matter how good I was at my job, I could be replaced, any time. I needed that job more than the job needed me. Millions of other people in the world are just as good as me—if not better—and could take my place. My employer also used to say, "what happens if you leave, die or go away?" In other words, would the world stop, collapse, and cease to function because you left, died, or moved away? Think about that for a moment. What would happen if you leave, die or go away? That's a tough lesson to swallow, but you know what? It's also liberating! (This message is for you - you anxious, exhausted, overwhelmed, guilt-ridden giver—and me, because I'm one too.) The myth of indispensabilityWe've been sold the story that being needed equals being valuable. That productivity = being valuable, so much so that our worth depends on it. That if you're not giving, helping, or fulfilling your duties the way you SHOULD BE: -You're failing -You're selfish -You're not doing enough -You're not doing your best. (By the way, who gets to determine what your best is?) Shouldn't you be giving your all—and then some? Does this feel familiar? If you're not constantly in motion—solving, fixing, managing, and anticipating everyone else's needs—do you somehow matter less? Here's the plot twist: your worth isn't measured by how much you can carry before you break. We have an epidemic of men and women carrying heavy loads on their shoulders every day. -The weight of not feeling enough. -The weight of silent, pervasive anxiety and depression. -The weight of perfectionism and performance. -The weight of feeling alone and hopeless. -The weight of pushing through no matter what. -The weight of juggling multiple important priorities that threaten sanity and peace of mind. As long as the world is spinning (and life is operating at breakneck speed), there will always be important work to do and people in need of our time, energy, and resources. Problems abound. Solutions don't. Here's where wisdom and bravery are needed. Ask yourself honestly:
Unconventional burnout solutions that work1. Practice Strategic Neglect Not everything needs or deserves your attention. This isn't the same as procrastination. This is mastering the art of delegation, or learning how to prioritize and minimize to reduce your mental and emotional load. Pick three things that actually matter today and let the rest exist in peace. 2. Embrace Good Enough Perfect is the enemy of done, and perfectly done is the enemy of your sanity. Good enough is often more than enough. 3. Become Selectively Unavailable Let phone calls go to voicemail. If you decide to pick up, be ready to say "I'm sorry, but I can't," without an explanation. Create boundaries around your time and energy like you're protecting something precious—because you are. A friend once asked me, "can you put a price on your sanity?" 4. Remember: Crisis of Planning ≠ Your Emergency Someone else's poor planning doesn't automatically become your fire drill. You can be compassionate without being a savior. You can care without carrying. I'm not encouraging selfishness. I'm advocating for the INTENTIONAL care of others, including yourself, so that you DON'T burnout. Remember: a dead battery is useless, and so is an almost dead battery. The freedom of being replaceableWhen you accept that you're not the linchpin holding everything together, something beautiful happens. You get to be human instead of superhuman. You get to rest without guilt. You get to say no without justification. Your family doesn't need a perfect manager—they need a present mom, wife, or caregiver. Your friends don't need you to fix their problems—they need someone to witness their struggles. You don't need to be indispensable to be loved. This week's feral challengePick one thing you've been carrying that isn't actually yours to carry. Put it down. Watch what happens. Spoiler alert: the world doesn't end. Maybe it's the mental load of your family's work schedule. Maybe it's your adult child's repeated financial crises. Maybe it's the neighborhood drama that somehow always lands on your doorstep. Put it down. Walk away. See what happens when you stop being available for everything. AffirmationsWould you like to break the negativity loop in your mind? Have you ever tried an affirmation? An affirmation is basically a positive statement you repeat to yourself to shift your mindset or reinforce a belief. Some people swear by them, others think they're useless. I think the right mantra or affirmation speaks directly to your heart and gives your subconscious instructions to follow. Here are 6 pointed affirmations to retrain your brain. "I can care without carrying." "It's safe to let others figure it out." "My rest doesn't require anyone's permission." "I choose presence over performance." "I am enough without being everything to everyone." "I am valuable, not vital." Pick one or two that resonate with you and repeat it to yourself until you believe them. RememberYou are wildly valuable exactly as you are—not for what you do, but for who you are. Your worth isn't earned through exhaustion or proven through martyrdom. Sometimes the most radical act of self-love is admitting you're not the center of everyone else's universe. And that's not failure—that's freedom. Hit reply and let me know which affirmation hit home for you 🙂. With Love, Creativity, & Intention, Anna P.S. If this newsletter helped shift something for you, forward it to someone who needs permission to be human instead of superhuman. We're in this together, but we don't have to carry it all alone. https://linktr.ee/aferalhousewife |
Would you like to boost your confidence, self-worth, & emotional resilience? Every week I share tips on how to cultivate lasting personal growth, sprinkled with fun, creativity, and spontaneity in my weekly newsletter: The Ponderings of a Feral Housewife.
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