The Feral Housewife's Guide to

Living Authentically, Creatively, & Intentionally

Issue #78 || July 25, 2025 || Previous issues​

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Hey Reader,

Before we jump in, I'm trying something new.

NEW FEATURE: Listen to a recording of this week’s newsletter!

Let me know what you think if you decide to listen.

Do you struggle with perfectionism?

I used to think only "perfect people" struggled with that. I assumed perfectionists strove for success and always hit the mark. I just figured they were never satisfied with their success.

In reality, perfectionism has nothing to do with success and everything to do with the internal pressure we torment ourselves with.

Perfectionists struggle with feeling like failures—whether it's true or not. I didn't realize I was a perfectionist because I felt like a failure, ALL THE TIME. (I can't be a perfectionist if I'm never perfect.) I still struggle with these feelings, but now I know better.

Perfectionism has nothing to do with success or failure, or getting things right.

Turns out we perfectionists need a little more understanding, awareness, and compassion.

And we need to adjust our expectations.

If I do the internal work: become aware, journal, meditate, take Bach flower remedies, try EFT, medication—the list goes on—shouldn't I be able to conquer 'this'?

Here's the thing.

We might never. It just might be that we'll be dealing with perfectionism (or anxiety, fear, guilt, depression, [insert your issue] for the rest of our lives.

Our issues may be so deeply rooted—a part of who we are—that we might have to accept that part of ourselves. The best thing we can do is learn to manage it.

Kind of like people who live in disaster-prone areas. (I've always wondered why people don't just relocate, but maybe they can't. Or maybe if they move they're trading earthquakes for hurricanes).

The reality is—we can't outrun challenges or problems. For now, they're here to stay, and maybe that's a good thing.

Maybe we need to reframe everything about ourselves. Change the internal story we believe.

Our weaknesses, in some crazy way, serve us for now.

If you live in a disaster-prone area, you know exactly what I mean. Storms come and go. You do your best to prepare and protect yourself. You learn how to navigate the storms. You even learn how to rebuild faster (resilience). In severe cases, you may need to evacuate, but even those who leave often return home (if possible).

What if you learned how to be at home and at peace, in your own skin (storms and all)?

What if the goal isn't to fix yourself but to get better at rebuilding quickly after each storm?

What if you had helpful tools ready, knew the process of getting back up, and were gentler with yourself during the reconstruction?

Take a deep breath.

Relax your shoulders.

Better yet, roll your shoulders and neck to loosen up.

Take that pressure off to be perfect in every way. Leave that to Mary Poppins, nobody does that better than her anyway.

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Every time I grow in some way (patience, awareness, compassion, perfectionism) I discover there's always another layer to learn.

This can feel like another trap—like we're never good enough. Sigh.

New situations often arise that make me realize I could learn even more.

For example, I raised my first puppy when I was newly married and boy, did that puppy teach me patience! He peed and pooped everywhere, took forever to house train. But I became more patient and thought, hey I'm ready to become a mom.

Ha! You know how that story goes. Having a puppy DOES NOT prepare you for raising a child—not by a long shot.

Becoming a mother taught me layers of patience I didn't know I needed. Now my son is entering his teen years 😵. Guess I'll keep learning patience, and that's ok 😊.

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Turns out we are all onions 🧅

We are literally like onions.

We grow, learn, and heal in layers.

Our bodies store traumas, emotions, illnesses, memories, and pretty much everything else in layers. (I wonder how many layers there are to us?)

What's amazing is that our bodies are intelligent, prioritizing emergencies like an ER.

Our bodies are like an emergency room where nurses have to triage patients.

👩‍⚕️ Heart attack victims come before flu patients.

Makes sense, right?

Treat the emergency first, the rest can wait (and wait and wait...).

When the true emergencies are over, other issues emerge and can be healed.

This is why you might beat yourself up for having to learn the same lesson over and over. But that doesn't mean something is wrong with you.

It means you're human (not Mary Poppins).

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Journaling Prompts

There are so many effective ways to process those emerging layers, both physical and emotional.

-Bach Flower remedies

-EFT (Emotional Freedom Tapping technique)

-Meditation / Mindfulness

-Talking to someone (a therapist, a wise friend, God)

-Journaling

Journaling happens to be my favorite (besides prayer) because it's free, private, simple, and effective.

Actually, combining multiple tools is even better.

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If you want to journal but don't know where to start here are a few suggestions:

What would feeling 'enough' look like if you could shape it for yourself?

What would it mean to embrace all your layers with compassion?

Or, write a letter to yourself from the perspective of someone who loves you (whether that's God, your future self, or your wisest friend).

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In Summary

-You’re not a problem to fix—you’re an onion with beautiful, complex layers.

-Perfectionism, challenges, and all those layers make you who you are. Instead of fighting them, embrace them with compassion, prepare for life’s storms, and keep peeling back new insights.

-Try one of this week’s journaling prompts to explore your layers and find peace in being perfectly you.

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With Love, Creativity, & Intention,

Anna

P.S. If you're enjoying this newsletter, please forward it to a friend.

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​www.aferalhousewife.com​

​https://linktr.ee/aferalhousewife​

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I'm a recovering perfectionist and sassy housewife, helping overwhelmed women create a rich and fulfilling inner life by ditching guilt, perfectionism, and the “do it all” myth through therapeutic writing and creative self-expression. ​ I'm here to inspire you to intentionally grow in all areas of life, especially emotionally, because what you think and how you feel influences everything. ​ If you're enjoying this newsletter, please forward it to a friend or send this subscribe link: The Feral Housewife's Guide to Living Authentically, Creatively & Intentionally​ ​ Write. Feel. Heal. ​ Anna Celotto Writer & Inner Life Coach