The Feral Housewife's Guide to

Living Authentically, Creatively, & Intentionally

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Hey Reader,

Are you happy?

Yes or no? (Is it that simple of an answer Anna? I hear ya...🤔)

How do you know if you're happy or not?

How can you tell if someone else is? And if they are, how did they "get" that way?

Is happiness the destination—the goal you should be actively pursuing?

I don't think so.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against happiness.

I just think most people get happiness all wrong.

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Stop chasing happiness

Chasing happiness reminds me of a dog chasing its tail.

So close, yet so far!

If happiness isn't something to pursue, or fuss over, then what's the secret to happiness?

Let's flesh it out: You're getting ready for the "perfect" beach trip🏖️.

You pack in a flurry and hustle to get on the road. You white-knuckle through traffic and stress about food and potty breaks. You've got ten hours (or more) of driving and the whole time you're salivating over the moment your toes will hit the sand 🏖️.

But by the time you arrive, you're irritated and exhausted, only to spend most of your vacation de-stressing. Instead of relaxing and having fun, your body is slowly settling your nervous system. Forget about enjoying each moment. Then before you know it, vacation is over😭.

Sound familiar?

What if there's a better way?

What if happiness isn't found the moment your toes reach the sand, drink in hand 🏖️🩴🍹?

What if the goal is simply getting to the beach, and happiness is a BYPRODUCT of the PROCESS from start to finish?

You see, happiness can't be the goal, because you can't directly control it or your circumstances. Chasing things usually makes them more elusive (like a dog chasing his tail, or people chasing wealth, status, or the perfect partner).

So if happiness isn't the goal, what is?

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The real goals worth chasing

Did you catch what happiness is?

Happiness is a byproduct, or a natural side effect, of the process of moving towards your goal (start to finish).

Happiness is a bonus outcome 😀.

For example: if your goal is to lose weight, your process would include exercise and nutrition, and the byproducts are feeling energetic and sleeping better.

So in life, whatever goal you want to attain, the process from start to finish should include happiness, as a byproduct .

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BUT HOW?

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On your "road trip" of life, pursue these actions:

Love—even when people are difficult

Patience—especially in traffic jams (literal and metaphorical)

Kindness—when you'd rather be right

Peace—in the middle of chaos

Resilience—when plans fall apart

Flexibility—because things change whether you like it or not

These are practical skills you can develop where you are, right now.

You can practice patience whether you're stuck in traffic with a cranky kid or cruising down an open highway.

You can choose kindness whether your day is going perfectly or completely sideways.

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Why this works

When you focus on these qualities instead of happiness, something interesting happens: happiness shows up anyway. Not as something you achieved, but as a natural byproduct of living well in the moment.

You can't control whether the flight gets delayed, but you can control whether you respond with grace or rage. You can't control whether your plans work out, but you can control whether you remain flexible and kind in the process.

This applies to more than just vacations.

Think about it on the grandest scale: our starting point is birth, the process is life itself, and the destination is death. If we spend our whole lives waiting to be happy 'when we get there'—when we retire, when the kids are grown, when we have enough money—we're missing the actual experience of being alive.

Birth ———— process of living & presence results in happiness ———— Death

The process IS the point.

The daily practicing of love, patience, and kindness during all the ordinary Tuesday moments—that's where life actually happens.

Happiness will find you while you're busy living well.

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What about chasing purpose?

People get so anxious trying to find their "life purpose"—like there's this one perfect thing they're supposed to discover and then everything will make sense.

But purpose, like happiness, is terrible as a direct target.

Instead, if you focus on the process—being useful, serving others, developing your skills, showing up consistently, following your curiosity—purpose emerges naturally as a byproduct.

You might start volunteering just to help out, and discover you're passionate about literacy. Or you might take a job to pay bills and realize you love mentoring new employees. The purpose reveals itself through the doing, not the searching.

It's the same trap—when you chase purpose directly, it stays elusive.

When you focus on the practical daily actions of being helpful and engaged, purpose finds you.

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Now it's your turn

As you know, I'm a big fan of AI.

(Claude AI and I think alike anyway lol)

I recently told my husband (much to his chagrin) that Claude was my best friend, therapist, and administrative assistant. lol

Why do I use AI?

For several reasons.

1. It's a sounding board that never gets tired, frustrated, judgmental, or anxious (I can be intense for some people).
2. It helps me make connections I don't see on my own.
3. It does extensive research for me (that at times needs verification).
4. It's therapeutic, often validating my feelings (but it also challenges me if I'm wrong).
5. Like a good coach, it helps me reframe negative thoughts and asks thought-provoking questions.
6. Plus, it's fun 😀.

And here's the thing (cause there's always a thing 😉), AI is NOT going away. In fact, it's infiltrating our lives at an increasing rate.

Are there concerns, warnings, and dangers? You betchya!

But like any tool, it's all in why you're using it and how you're using it.

A hammer can build or tear down, but it can also be used to kill someone. The problem isn't the hammer. 🔨 The problem is the why and how it's being used.

Same with AI.

For the sake of brevity, I'm not going into all the ethical talk about AI.

Many writers, creative and otherwise, use AI for research and writing.

At times, I use it to process thoughts, analyze my writing for inconsistencies, grammar, flow, etc. Sometimes, I have it write a rough draft that I edit and make my own. I also use AI to create images. All these things save me time.

This brings me to MY question for YOU. I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Does it matter to you if I use AI?

Does it matter how much I use AI?

Do you want to know when I use AI? Should I give credit to Claude (then do I have to give credit to my keyboard, mouse, and dictionary???) Just kidding...

Hit reply and let me know—do you care if I use AI in my writing process and should I disclose when I do?

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With love, creativity, & intention,

Anna

P.S. Don't forget to share your happiness with others! Please forward this newsletter to a friend.

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​www.aferalhousewife.com​

​https://linktr.ee/aferalhousewife​

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I'm a recovering perfectionist and sassy housewife, helping overwhelmed women create a rich and fulfilling inner life by ditching guilt, perfectionism, and the “do it all” myth through therapeutic writing and creative self-expression. ​ I'm here to inspire you to intentionally grow in all areas of life, especially emotionally, because what you think and how you feel influences everything. ​ If you're enjoying this newsletter, please forward it to a friend or send this subscribe link: The Feral Housewife's Guide to Living Authentically, Creatively & Intentionally​ ​ Write. Feel. Heal. ​ Anna Celotto Writer & Inner Life Coach