The Feral Housewife's Guide to

Living Authentically, Creatively, & Intentionally

Issue #85 || September 12, 2025 || Previous issues​

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Hey Reader,

How are you?

I mean, really, how are you?

It's an innocent but obnoxious question, isn't it?

Does anyone ever tell the truth on that one?

How many times have you answered, all smiles, "I'm fine." Yet, if that person climbed inside your head they'd hear screaming, "Liar! You're not fine!"

Then you have the opposite. There are people you're terrified of asking, how are you? Because you know you'll get an earful of woes, complaints, and negativity. And often, the same story over and over. So you avoid the question.

From the "I'm fine" answer all the way to the "Let me tell you all the ways I'm NOT fine" answer, we are behaving like typical humans.

If you asked a dog how they're doing, you'd get the same answer, every time.

Hand over the treat and everything will be fine.

If only life were that simple, right?

Surely we can learn a thing or two from dogs. Sorry cat lovers—I can't pretend to understand those mysterious creatures. Our cat, Cleo, enjoys leaving headless rabbits and mouse guts on our doorstep. I just don't jive with that kind of communication.

But a dog, I can understand.

He wags his tail—he's happy to see me🐕.

He follows me around—and why not? I'm the one nagging the child to feed him.

He also follows me because I'm the one who initiates taking him on walks. Dogs LOVE walks.

It makes sense that dogs are called man's best friend. They're loyal and protective. Playful and fun. As long as you feed, pet, and play with them—they're happy.

But there's more.

They have a natural superpower you and I do well to imitate.

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Dogs: natural masters of presence

Presence (mindfulness or living in the moment) doesn't come naturally to us.

Humans need to work for it. Be intentional about it.

Dogs, on the other hand, are instinctive mindfulness teachers.

They don't spend hours reminiscing about the past or fretting about tomorrow. If it's morning, they aren't worried about the afternoon or evening.

I tried a little experiment on our golden doodle. His name is Red and he LOVES hiking. He always knows when I'm getting ready to go on a hike. Either he reads my mind or he sees the clues: my hiking buddy shows up and my yellow backpack comes out of hiding.

He also understands the phrase, "do you want to go for a walk?"

A few weeks ago, that's what I asked him. Needless to say he was super excited. He did circles around me and the car. He sat in front of me to show how he's such a super obedient dog🐕‍🦺.

But instead of leaving, I sat outside and read a book. He was confused. Poor fellow. He was ready to go, but suddenly everything changed. He had no further evidence to support his conclusion that we were going hiking in his immediate future. So what did he do?

He settled down on the grass behind me and chilled.

I imagined he was thinking, "She said walk, but she's not going anywhere. False alarm?"

Was he disappointed? Did he forget about the walk? Was he cursing me out in his brain? Was he patiently hoping we'd go later?

I have no idea, but I'm happy to say he was rewarded for his patience.

We did go hiking eventually 😀.

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Here's what I learned, or rather was reinforced to me about dogs, they live IN THE PRESENT MOMENT.

Not future. Not past. Not 30 minutes ago. Not 1 hour from now.

They live NOW.

They think, feel, act, and decide in the moment.

What if you and I did that too?

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Living in the moment

Living in the moment means focusing your attention fully on what's happening right now rather than being mentally stuck in the past or future. It's about engaging with your current experience—what you're seeing, feeling, thinking, or doing—without judgment or distraction.

As with anything in life, it's good to consider the pain vs the gain.

Unlike animals, you and I can visit the past and future with our minds. And sometimes that's ok.

• Looking back helps us learn from our mistakes.
• Memories 📸 of the good times we've had make us feel happy.
• Looking forward helps us plan for the future so we don't end up where we don't want to be.

The problem is when we decide to stay in the past or the future.

Yesterday is the past. It's gone. You can't get that back. There's no do-over, no matter how much you wish it.

And tomorrow, hasn't happened yet.

Tomorrow is full of possibilities, but you don't know what. Life is unpredictable at times.

The only thing you have is right now, this moment.

Try this little exercise and ask yourself these questions:

• What do I need in this moment?
• What recharges me in this moment?
• What choice am I making about how to think and feel in this moment?

Those are the kinds of questions that'll help you stay grounded.

Now, let's look at a few benefits of mindfulness and then we'll toss out some suggestions about how to practice daily (thanks to AI Claude).

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The science-backed benefits of mindfulness

Research shows that practicing presence can:

• Reduce stress and anxiety by breaking the cycle of worry
• Improve relationships through better listening and emotional connection
• Enhance decision-making by clearing mental clutter
• Increase life satisfaction and gratitude
• Boost focus and productivity by reducing mental multitasking
• Lower blood pressure and improve immune function
• Help with depression by interrupting negative thought patterns

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Let me repeat some *key* concepts from that list.

Your health, joy, and satisfaction increase IF you practice mindfulness.

Because it helps you:

-feel more gratitude and grounded

-slow down, so you can make better choices

-stay more focused (NO multi-tasking)

-connect better with friends and family

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This is how I know I'm old—one of my biggest pet peeves is being in a group of people where everyone is staring at their phones, scrolling or texting. I'm not saying it's never ok to answer a quick text or phone call. But I'm saying it should be rare.

Why not FULLY enjoy the people you're with?

Why not FULLY enjoy your own presence?

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How to incorporate presence daily

Morning Rituals

• Mindful coffee/tea: Focus on the aroma, warmth, and taste (leave your phone in the other room)
• Three deep breaths: Before checking messages or switching tasks, take three conscious breaths
• Shower meditation: Feel the water temperature, notice the sensations

Throughout the Day

• The 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Notice 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste
• Walking meditation: Focus on each step, feeling your feet connect with the ground. Barefoot is even better.
• Single-tasking: Do one thing at a time with full attention
• Phone-free meals: Eat without distractions, savoring flavors and textures

In Conversations

• Eye contact: Look at the person speaking instead of planning your response
• Listen to understand: Focus on their words rather than waiting for your turn to talk
• Ask follow-up questions: Show genuine curiosity about what they're sharing

Transition Moments

• Red light meditation: Use traffic stops as mindfulness cues
• Doorway awareness: Pause at doorways (or in your car) to take a conscious breath before you exit
• Before sleep: Notice three things you're grateful for from the day

The "Dog Walk" Approach

• Engage your senses: Like dogs, use sight, sound, smell, and touch to anchor yourself
• Be curious: Approach familiar experiences with fresh eyes
• Accept interruptions: When your mind wanders (it will), gently return to the present without self-judgment

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Start small

Practice presence in small increments (1 minute or less) and gradually increase.

The key is consistency—just like training a dog, small, regular practice builds good habits.

Remember: Dogs don't judge themselves for getting distracted by a squirrel. When your mind wanders, simply notice it happened and gently return your attention to now.

That's the practice.

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Hit reply and let me know ONE way you're going to practice mindfulness this season.

Hint...if you're in the Northeast, the leaves are already changing colors. What a beautiful way to slow down and pay attention to your environment. Hopefully the colors will be vibrant this year (but they never last long enough).

Have a great weekend.

With Love, Creativity, & Intention,

Anna

P.S. If you're enjoying this newsletter, please forward it to a friend.

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I'm a recovering perfectionist and sassy housewife, helping overwhelmed women create a rich and fulfilling inner life by ditching guilt, perfectionism, and the “do it all” myth through therapeutic writing and creative self-expression. ​ I'm here to inspire you to intentionally grow in all areas of life, especially emotionally, because what you think and how you feel influences everything. ​ If you're enjoying this newsletter, please forward it to a friend or send this subscribe link: The Feral Housewife's Guide to Living Authentically, Creatively & Intentionally​ ​ Write. Feel. Heal. ​ Anna Celotto Writer & Integrative Mind-Body Coach